I want to go back in time. Rewind the fact that every single person knows my internal details and life story and the fact that I can’t breathe when I’m crying or the reason why I like to go to bed is to wallow in my sadness. I am so sick of everyone being all up in my business. I actually liked acting like everything was fine and bottling it up and now any chance of that happening is ruined. Even if I tried to act like everything was good, people would end up figuring it out, suddenly going from wanting to die to enrolling in uni and getting a job.
How am I supposed to act? I wish there was a book called depression for dummies. How do I react to questions? Especially regarding my faith and my mental health.
On one hand I am so hypocritical saying things like don’t worry, jesus has a plan but yet here I am not wanting any of that plan.
Not sure what to do anymore. Please tell me what to do. Give me a manual. “How to hide the fact that you are broken inside”